Awareness month.

September is CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH. It's a punch to the stomach. I hope that each year awareness gets greater and greater and that more funds will go towards new research and hopefully a cure. Cancer is the worst thing that could possibly happen. And if we can avoid it for anyone, I sure wish could avoid it for our children.

I love you Atticus. Mommy misses you so much. I miss pre-cancer you. Cancer you. And the you we didn't get to have. Your little brother Isaac starts preschool tomorrow, Mrs. Cherry! Your very last preschool teacher. We couldn't have hand picked a better one to send you off. Im pretty emotional about this upcoming year. It's hard for me to have Isaac catch up to you. And even worse, having him get closer to surpassing you. Im scared. It's another milestone that Im dreading. It's not fair sweet heart. I wish you were here. Isaac wishes you were here. He asked me the other day if we could visit you in Heaven. I sure wish we could. I love love love you. Dang these never ending tears and heartache. xoxoxo

Just a two short days after his DIPG diagnosis...

The sweetest bravest most courageous fighter I have ever known.

I clench my teeth and fists looking at this picture. What I wouldn't give to have him in my arms again.

This was in the wee hours of the morning. Atticus couldn't sleep so we took him to play. He was still off balance and wobbly but I can remember his giggle as if it were yesterday. This is so hard.