Clarification....

It has come to my attention that I need to clarify some things. My excitement in yesterday's post may have come caused some confusion. I'm not being pessimistic just realistic.

YES Atticus' tumor has shrunk. Amazingly well I might add, BUT he still has DIPG. His life expectancy is still the same, 1-2 years. He is NOT cured. The shrinkage does not mean the cancer is gone. What it does mean is that we have time. He's not going to be taken from us tomorrow. It means we get more "healthy" time. And that is our miracle.... time!

Some DIPG kids tumor shrink significantly like 80% but symptoms returned within months. Others tumors don't shrink much at all, but had a good 12-18 months of life. Because of the location of the tumor it cannot be biopsied so they don't know the tumors anatomy, its growth rate, or the chemotherapy's and/or other medications that work best for it.

Atticus has responded really really well. Whether it was the radiation or the chemotherapy or the two working together, we don't know. But something was able it stop it, slow it down, and decrease its size! Giving our family more time to be together....

I picture it like this.... In the beginning, if Eric and I chose NOT to do radiation and chemotherapy we would have had, at best, 3 months. Up until yesterday that "3 month" rain cloud has been hovering over me. Constantly in my peripheral vision. A constant fear of, "what if its starts growing tomorrow, or tonight, or right now?" Yesterday's MRI gave me peace. It gave me the confidence of knowing he's not going to leave me tomorrow. Fingers crossed he doesn't leave me in 6 months. But we don't know. The doctors don't know. Only the Lord does. And that's what we have to trust. I can honestly say that for the first time since January 13, 2012 I am happy. Truly happy, not masking any sadness. Just happy. We were just given the miracle of time. Time to play baseball, soccer, golf. Time to swing, swim, cook. Time to read stories, do crafts. Time to realize how blessed we really are.

Miracles come in all different shapes and sizes... We prayed for our miracle to be for Atticus to run again, play sports again, to have his "healthy" time be as long as the Lord sees fit. And that my friends, is the miracle we have already received and are continuing to receive. That is why Atticus is our miracle child. Yes he still has cancer. Yes he is going to meet our loving Father in Heaven sooner than we would like. BUT we have been given a miracle and for that we are truly grateful.