Radiation Day 12, 13, 14

Word of caution: It's long. I've been pretty down the last two days and haven't wanted to write so Im playing catch up. Don't feel obligated to read all of. But you know me, I have to document everything thing to the last detail. MONDAY, February 13th Radiation Day 12 Prepared to be SHOCKED... Atticus stayed asleep until 5 am! It was the best night's sleep Eric and I have had in over a month. He stayed sound asleep from 8:30pm -5am. Glorious!! I was a little nervous when I looked at the clock and saw that it was 5 am, then had to tell him he couldn't have a snack. As you can imagine, it didn't go over well. BUT, thanks to Uncle Chris, the "ELF" saved the day. While Uncle Chris was here he told Atticus about the "ELVES" that are always watching and leaving surprises for good and brave boys. Oh my goodness. It was a HIT. Chris was like a magician. Constantly pulling out presents from his apparently bottomless suitcase. Each gift was wrapped with a note from the "ELF." Amazing right? So, 5am + no eating= meltdown.... meltdown + "ELF" visit= HAPPINESS. Thank goodness I had a few presents stashed so I could quickly wrapped one, write a card and secretly place it for Atticus to find. ELVES to the rescue! We built a Safari Lego kit! Accessing was a bummer. I figured it would be extra hard with him having so many access-free days. He gets so scared. I have to fight back tears. It hard seeing him so upset. Treatment went fine... He woke up, we got in the car, opened up his lunch box, and headed home. It was weird to be just us. Good but weird. It's been so long. Eric's brother and sister both left Sunday afternoon and the next visitors don't come until Tuesday. It was a rough day. Atticus has a hard time differentiating between his port hurting and bugging him. But without fail, every Monday, he cries and cries that his port hurts. And every Monday I call the Oncology team and ask for advice. I did give him Lortab. It's only the 2nd time he's had it. Im fairly confident that, for the most part his port doesn't hurt him but bugs him. He just doesn't know how else to express how he feels. Thankfully, my sweet friends were putting on a special Valentines Day Party later that day. For awhile I wasn't sure if we were going to make it, but Atticus decided last minute that he could calm down and did indeed wanted to go. I know I say this all the time BUT, I have amazing friends. There is a group of 5 of us that have done almost everything together for 2 years. Basically since we moved to Dallas. This was a very special valentines party, it was the first time Atticus went somewhere other than the Hospital or quick trip to Target to pick out a "Brave Point" prize. We were both really excited to see our friends. Jocelyn... thank you for being as OCD about cleaning and sanitizing as I would be! Everything sparkled. And thank you everyone for sanitizing twice. It did my heart good. The kids decorated sugar cookies and played while us mommy's did what we do best: talk! Thank you girls! It was a really fun outing.

Me and my sweety pie...

So in all honesty, I came home and cried. Atticus did great being with his friends but it was hard on me. He use to be the ring leader. It was hard seeing him stand in the back ground. My heart aches for him. There is nothing, nothing I wouldn't do to take this away from him. You know the days where you literally count down the hours until your hubby gets home from work to rescue you or you count down the hours until bedtime. That was today. Bedtime couldn't come soon enough. First off Atticus was over tired, never a good thing, and he wanted to eat but the kitchen was "closed." That's what we tell him when its cut off time for chemo. Getting him the bath was a NIGHTMARE. He flipped. It was the first time where I really had to focus on not loosing it. Eric and I were both so tired and frustrated by the end of the day. But Im proud of us. As hard as it was, we kept our cool and stayed patient. Thank heaven for bedtime. With both kids asleep, Eric and I crawled in to bed and crashed. * Have I mentioned today that my husbands amazing? All I have to do is look at him, he gives me this specific smile, and I filled with strength. I love you honey! Like love love love. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14th... Happy Valentines Day! Im in love. In love with my husband. In love with my Atticus. In love with my Isaac. Thank you all... for loving us too! Radiation Day 13 2nd day back on track with treatment! Yeah!! Just Eric and Atticus went today. I have been congested the last two days with a sore throat and Isaac has a runny nose. So we have been keeping our distance. And, I needed to pick up my Dad and Step-mom up from the airport. It was hard to not be there. I don't think I can do that again. So daddy and Atticus were off and Chunk and I had breakfast. It was so fun to have one on one time with him. He is just so stinkkin cute.... I will set the scene: We are eating yogurt and raisin toast (our family is obsessed with raisin toast), I'm trying to convince Chunk to try his sippy of milk (which he still will not drink) when the door bell rings. As soon as I open the door, screams of happiness! Tori, Kayla, and Meagan come in with smiles on their faces arms full of valentines day goodies. We were all so excited to see each other that our excitement got a little loud and we scared the pants off poor Isaac :). A group of them had made a valentines basket full of goodies for me and Eric and a valentines day box for Atticus named the "Atti-Gator!" Good thinkin' Ethan!! He was so excited. And wanted to tape each and every one on his wall!

(just so you ladies know, I passed on dinner and decided to have 4 chocolate covered strawberries and almost the entire bag of chocolate covered gummy bears. And no Kayla, I did not save you any green ones!!)

back to treatment... Eric was good to text me updates and said that Atticus did really well. But no surprise there! He also said they waited for a really long time and Atticus didn't go back until 10am. They got Eric once his treatment was done and Atticus was awake before he even got back there. He was chipper, ready to eat some grapes and anxious to see Dr. Lenarsky. Atticus had picked out Star Wars valentines with rice krispi treats and had one for each Doctor and nurse. He was really excited to hand them out. He also made one for cute Joanna (the little girl diagnosed with DIPG a few days after Atticus. Her radiation time is right after his so we see her every morning). Dr. Lenarsky had only good things to say! Atticus is doing really well. He has gained another 4 pounds, putting him at a total of 44 whoppers. The Decodron (steroid) was lowered to 2mg. One in the morning one in the afternoon. Lowering his dose has made a HUGE difference in his sleep... Hallelujah! It still makes him sweat like crazy but at least he's sleeping better. Dr. Lenarsky said that if Atticus is able to go completely off the Decodron, there is a good chance he will loose some of the weight. It seems that with pediatrics, that's how their bodies compensate for the intense weight gain. On steroids= can't get enough to eat and gain a lot of weigh. Off steroids= having to convince them to eat and some weight loss. We kind of hope that's the case and here's the reason why: the weight is hurting him. His poor little back hurts him all day long. It's hard for him to walk or stand up and not because of the tumor because of his weight. It's all in his face and tummy. Our prayers have truly been answered. Thank you for praying and fasting for us. It is another testament that there is a Heavenly Father that loves us and hears our prayers and knows our hearts. Atticus' coordination and balance are fantastic. It's the dang weight that's keeping him down. He could run, I say that loosely, but it hurts him. He could swing a bat, but it hurts him

. His breathing is labored so anything causing exertion makes it worse and he doesn't like that. For the time being, he has lost interest in those things. SO... long story short... hooray for Decodron decrease and fingers crossed for a little weight loss. While the older boys were doing their thing, Chunky and I cleaned ran a few errands then drove to the airport to pick up Grandpa and Grandma Romera (my dad and step mom). Atticus was really excited to see them.

Atticus and Grandpa Romera

That afternoon, Mrs. Cherry surprised us with a visit and a basket full of valentines from his school! It was so fun to watch his facial expressions as I read each one. We talked about the kids and the teachers. He got so many sweet valentines, pictures, cards, and thoughtful gifts. THANK YOU NEW WORLD FRIENDS!! We felt and feel very loved. And again, he wants to tape each and every one on his wall.

Right before bedtime Atticus got yet another surprise. "May the force be with yo...!" He got this awesome Lightsaber from his buddy Peter. Eric has done work for his daddy at the firm and Peter and Atticus took swimming lessons together. Atticus was super excited and was all about the force! Daddy too!! They battled it out.

It was a pretty darn good valentines. Thank you to those wonderful people who made is a special one for us! We HEART you!

WEDNESDAY, February 15th Radiation Day 14 We are almost half way done! Crazy. It's been the longest and fastest 3 weeks of my life. Thankfully I am feeling much better and am over my cold. I think my body was shutting down. I need to get more sleep.. I'm tired all day but when night comes, I think of all the things I can get done or just plane want some peace and quiet while the kids are asleep and don't want to sleep. But, I don't think I could have stayed home for another treatment so Im glad I was feeling better. While waiting to go back (they were running late again) Atticus and I got comfy, he sat on my lap, and we both fell asleep. Once back in the radiation room and while they were administering the sedative he said, "This medicine, this medicine makes me hard!" Eric said he said the same thing yesterday. He is such good boy. Just goes through the motions like a champ. He knows exactly where to go and what to do. He puts out his finger for the O2 monitor, lifts his shirt for port access, and all with a smile on that cute face of his. They informed me that he had to have an "oral airway" today. Not because of breathing issues but because of drooling. He hasn't done that before. They said it wasn't a problem but they did have to give him a little more sedative since it took a little longer. I was concerned that it possibly meant a cold coming on but they don't think so. We'll just keep a close watch. Miss Wendy, said that once in our "wake up" rom he was mostly asleep but humming, she told him to go ahead and rest and relax! We love Miss Wendy. And that's exactly what he did. He was sound asleep and snoring when I got to the room. I took advantage of the opportunity and held his chubby hand and kissed his chubby cheeks about a million times! He woke up great. We got in the car, opened the snack pack, and headed home! It was a good day. Here are some funny things he's said lately... 1. "Im so bossy to myself. Bad Atticus!" (then precedes to giggle. I just want to add that when he giggles he scrunches his nose and stinkin' cute). 2. singing a song, "Im a chub-chub-chub-chubby man!" 3. Everything is "boo-boo-chick-a-rocka." 4. At nap time Atticus was laughing hysterically and said to me, "Mom! Boys rule and girls drool!" He could barely get it out he was laughing so hard. Eric taught him that of course!! Side note: you know in the Christmas books when they talk about Santa "he shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly..." or something along those lines... When Atticus laughs it reminds me of that. It's addictive. It's contagious. It's the best thing ever. He looks so so cute. You can't help but laugh then give him a kiss or ten 'cause it reminds you how much you love him! Thanks for keeping up with us! We love you all. XOXO