Radiation Day 4

Friday January 27th I don't know what Atticus' deal was on Thursday but sometime between Thursday night and Friday morning I was taken off the "naughty" list. Which I am sooo grateful for. It really hurt my feelings. Once at the hospital we watched Curious George and waited. When it was his turn, I walked Atticus back to the radiation room and he said, "It smells salty. It burns my nose!" Eric said he told him the same thing on Thursday. Dr. Davis gave him the sedative and two seconds later he was out. Normally, they kind of rush me out, but this time they didn't and I stayed and watched for minute or two. I can't decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing. I want to know everything that is going on but seeing everything brings me back to our reality. Atticus has cancer. He is undergoing radiation. And then the flood gates open. The Radiology team was so tender with Atticus. I watched as they gently layed him on the table, put a breathing mask on him for a few seconds, taped his eyes closed, then put his mask on... and that's when I left. On my way out I overheard them talking about what a sweet and good boy he is with perfect little features. I agree. 100% Treatment went fast. I felt like as soon as I sat down the came to get us! Eric and I have been experimenting with ways to help Atticus out of sedation and today's "experiment" was to let him wake up when he wakes up. Not to encourage it or rush it. We rubbed his back and held his hand but stayed quiet. Watching my sweet baby, breathing deeply, sound asleep with an occasional snort and movement was too much for me. I don't know why is was so much harder today but it was and I cried. I left the room not wanting to risk him waking up while bawling my eyes out. I just love him so much. Sometimes I can temporarily forget. I think I like it better that way. I want to thank all the wonderful nurses who, although complete strangers, have wrapped their arms around me and offered a shoulder to cry on! There have been many and I am so grateful. Once I got a grip, I went back to the room. My hubby gave me a squeeze or ten and we waited. It took Atticus 40 minutes to wake up. He's such a stink when he wakes up. He's so mad. He wants the blanket off. Wants to sit up. Wants to lay down. Wants the monitors off. Wants to leave. We can't blame him and stay as patient as possible. Wendy, his radiology nurse, had a surprise for him, which cheered him up. She got him a model car congratulating him on completing his first week of treatment! We had an appointment with Dr. Lenarsky right after so we headed upstairs. I love that no matter what time our appointment is, when we get there is when they see us. I don't think we have ever waited more than 5 minutes. Eric and I had a few questions for him like, what type of sicknesses and diseases do we need to be on the look out for? (answer... all of them), Can he take Decodron and Temodar at the same time? (answer... yes), How long does he need to be NPO- nothing by mouth- before taking the Temodar (answer... about two hours). He is so patient with us and answers all of our questions. He showed Atticus a picture of his dog, then they played a game on his phone together, seriously this guy is amazing. He offered to take Atticus to the "secret' room but he didn't want to. Dr. Lenarsky brought a racer to him instead! Marianne (the RN) came in and drew some blood, then (Drum Roll Please....) she de-accessed him!!! Meaning they took out the needle and tubing. Atticus was a little nervous but mostly brave. He was very excited to have that stuff off. Every Monday they will "access" him and every Friday they will "de-access" him. He does not have treatment Saturday and Sunday. **Speaking of "de-accessing," someone very intelligent needs to come up with a substance that will completely dissolve the stickiness of medical tape and dressings. That is the worst part for Atticus. The stinkin' tape** His lab work came back good. White blood count was high, but that's due to the hight amounts of steroids he's on. His "counts" shouldn't be effected for another few days to a week. That's when we'll have to really start being careful on where we go, what we do, who he's around ect. He is on 5mg of Decodron daily but they are hoping to decrease that amount by 1 mg each week. They are doing is slower than previously planned due to his symptoms. So next week we will go down to 4 mg daily. On our way out of the office Atticus yelled, "Goodbye Doctors. I love you!" And he really does, He loves his doctors and we do too. Before we left the house this morning, Atticus and I packed a lunch for him, and thank heaven he ACTUALLY ate it. While driving home he: 1 Ham and cheese sandwich. 1 blueberry nutrigrain bar. 1 strawberry nutrigrain bar. 1 bag of Pirates Booty. 1 go-gurt. And chocolate milk. He was still hungry so we took him to our friends restaurant where he ate 1/2 a cheeseburger (they are HUGE) french fries and 1/3 milkshake. He decided he was full after that but wanted to make sure I had "shell" macaroni at home. (Thank you Howard's/ sCrumbtious for the yummy meal. It was so nice to get out!). We finally made it home and got him down for a little nap. Aunty Leah and two of her girls came over around 4. It was Atticus' first visitors at the house and he was beyond excited. We had a "snack" picnic outside. They raced cars. Had story time with Aunty Leah, and ate dinner. It was really fun. After dinner, He took down his piggy bank emptied the money and told Audrey, "Since you were good you can have my dollar and some coins." He gave her the money then said, "Next time, if your even gooder, you can have more money!" He is such a sweet boy. It was a tender moment.

 

Buddies...

 

Enjoying January Texas style!

 

So... we did it. We survived Atticus' first week of treatment. And considering all he's been through and had to do, I think it went really well. I was so worried that everyday was going to be like Tuesday and am so grateful they weren't. Atticus is amazing. So strong. So brave. So courageous. He is a big spirit in a little body. We feel so blessed to be his Mommy and Daddy. For eternity! Atticus has received a few care packages and I want to thank you! I wish I could show you how his face lights up when he hears the door bell ring, or when he see's the delivery man. Or see's a letter addressed to him. His chubby little face glows. His sweet little crooked smile gets as big as it can possibly get. He get's so excited and is so grateful. We all are. We bought him a special book that we are keeping the beautiful pictures and cards friends and family have made and we look through it frequently. I want you all to know how those things that may seem small to you, mean a lot to him and brighten his day. He needs those bright and happy moments. We cannot thank you enough.Truly. SATURDAY January 28th Thank you to my wonderful friends who sent text messages wishing us a wonderful Saturday. I was just that. Wonderful! Again, Im sorry I don't always respond. But PLEASE know how much I love them and need them. I'll try to be better but make no promises :). I cannot tell you how nice it was to wake up and not have to go to the hospital. To be able to feed Atticus breakfast, at breakfast time. It was awesome! He ate 3 pieces of french toast, 3 sausages, and 1/2 pint blueberries. Not 30 minutes later he was hungry again! If the medical bills don't break us our grocery bill will.... This kid is eating us out of house and home :). We stayed in our jammers all day long. Played inside. Played outside. Took a good nap and had a surprise visitor. Atticus' preschool teacher Mrs. Cherry came to visit and her timing was perfect. He was 0.2 seconds away from having a meltdown (he still can't pucker his lips so when he was drinking his milk, it spilled all over his jams) when Grandma Lori informed him he had a visitor and it was Mrs. Cherry. He got the biggest smile on his face and I couldn't get him off my bed fast enough. Mrs. Cherry is the most amazing teacher in the entire world. Atticus adores her. I adore her. She truly has a gift for teaching. Atticus didn't say much but I know he was excited. She brought him a prayer blanket, and a "daisy dog" stuffed animal (she brings her real Daisy dog to school occasionally and the kids love it). Atticus showed her his room and some of the cards and pictures his friends and family have sent him. We set up a "playdate" with her for next Friday! She and Atticus are going to paint. He is SO excited.

 

It was a good day. A really really good day. It was just what we needed. XOXO, Cindy